It didn’t start with you, but you can break the cycle. As the work to break the stigma around mental health continues, you have probably heard of generational trauma and reparenting yourself. People are constantly becoming more aware of how different trauma can be and how it can affect people. Trauma often happens as abuse (emotional, physical or mental). It often starts in childhood. Childhood is the foundation of your life and can also directly affect your children once you’re a parent. Parents can unknowingly transmit their own issues from unresolved trauma to their children.

What is reparenting?

Reparenting occurs when you seek to understand how your childhood affects you now as an adult. This can be through examining how your needs were not met as a child and working to provide these needs for yourself. These needs could include a lack of affection, security,  structure or emotional support from your parents. Children take the majority of their cues from their parents. If you grew up in a house without proper guidance from a parent or adult in your life, you may have developed misconceptions about how relationships should go. Reparenting can be done on your own or with the help of a therapist.

How can you break the cycle?

When you decide to break the cycle of generational trauma and begin to reparent yourself, you are choosing the hard road. You are choosing to break the cycle, working to heal yourself, and working to protect future generations. You may not even realize things from your childhood are considered traumatic events. Even if you had a happy childhood, you could still be carrying the burden of undiscovered trauma. In fact, more than 65% of children experience an adverse childhood experience (ACE). An adverse childhood experience is a potentially traumatic event occurring in childhood. These can include violence, abuse, or growing up in a family rife with mental health or substance abuse problems.

Breaking the cycle of generational trauma and beginning to reparent yourself, it is important to remember this was something you were born into. This was not a problem you created. You are not at fault and you should be kind to yourself. Working to break the cycle of generational trauma and reparent yourself can open your eyes to see the world through a new lens.

Healing your inner child yourself can take a multitude of paths. One path you can take on your own can look like:

●      Learning about your family history — When you learn about your family history, you can look more closely at any patterns you may be repeating that you desire to break.

●      Acknowledge your trauma — You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge or accept. Accepting your family history of trauma can be hard, but it is an important step in your healing.

●      Reparent yourself — You become the loving parent your inner child needs. Reparenting yourself can help you learn to set appropriate boundaries, learn to regulate your emotions in a healthy way, develop and grow healthy relationships, become a better parent, and discover your true self along the way.

●      Become the parent you deserved — As a parent, you can now teach your child(ren) how to develop healthy relationships, express their emotions, and set boundaries. You can have open and age-appropriate conversations about your journey with them to help them learn their own history.

How can therapy help you with reparenting yourself?

Reparenting yourself to break generational trauma doesn’t have to be a lonely path. A therapist with experience in helping to heal trauma can be a beneficial addition to your reparenting journey. A therapist can help you address your trauma, understand the effects it has had on you, and help you learn the appropriate tools you need to cope in a healthy way. 

Embracing a new you

Parenting is hard. Parenting while reparenting yourself to break generational trauma is even harder. You’ll see your parents in a new light. They are products of their own trauma. It doesn’t excuse behavior, but it can explain why. In healing yourself, you may inspire them to begin their own healing journey.

Reparenting yourself and breaking generational trauma can grant you a better feeling of peace and security. It could be possible you are experiencing these feelings for the first time in your life or you may experience these on a deeper level. You can become your true and authentic self without fear of criticism and do your best for yourself and your family.

Healing can happen in any number of ways, your journey is as unique as you are

Life is complicated and messy. When it comes to mental health, we believe there’s no one-size-fits-all. At Halcyon Therapy Group, we understand just how important you and your unique situation and perspectives are. That’s why we offer a suite of services tailored specifically to you and your needs. You deserve better, and we are here to help. Book your complimentary consultation today and start living the life you always dreamed of.